Sunday, November 6, 2011

Hilary Swank may be regretful of the mistakes she made.

Oscar winning-two times, actress Hilary Swank has certainly made a few good choices in her life, otherwise she might still be known as simply that girl from that Karate Kid movie, but she also has a knack for career-careening catastrophes. The latest of which was accepting a paid appearance gig at brutal Chechen president Ramzan Kadyrov's birthday party. Whoops! In honor of today's news that Swank has been fired by her PR team in the wake of the Chechnya fiasco, let's take a look at Swank's numerous past mistakes.


Mistake no 1: In 2000 she forgot to thank her then husband (1997-2006) Chad Lowe after receiving the Best Actress Oscar for her performance in "Boys Don't Cry," making her (and, sadly, him) the butt of many a late night joke.


Mistake no 2: In 2003 After an embarrassing stab at period piece respect in the muddled 'The Affair of the Necklace' (and a respectably earnest supporting role in the underrated Insomnia), Swank swings for mainstream box office success with the hideously misguided 'The Core,' an almost shockingly silly 'Journey to the Center of the Earth' knockoff that makes quick work of Swank's box office credibility.

Mistake no 3: In 2006 2006: Swank's weird accent phase begins. Having won a second Oscar in 2005 for 'Million Dollar Baby,' she follows up with 'The Black Dahlia,' in which she affects a strange old-timey warble (NSFW) that she'll go on to repeat in different variations, but to similarly head-scratching effect, in 'Amelia and Conviction.'

Mistake no 4: Swank begins dating her own agent, John Campisi. He's a member of the CAA team that later allowed Swank to attend the terrible birthday party. And, y'know, a member of the team that encouraged her to do 'The Reaping.' This is also in 2006.

Mistake no 5: In this year she made a mistake for which she appeared with an explanation.  Speaking of! Putin puppet Ramzan Kadyrov holds a big 35th birthday bash in Grozny which Swank accepts money to attend. When people point out to her that Kadyrov is sort of a bad dude, Swank admits to not doing her homework, but then fires her agents (except for Campisi, naturally) in an effort to tidy up the mess. Her PR firm 42West then gets the jump on her, preemptively dumping her from their roster. Embarrassing celebrity appearance gigs are further exposed for the grubby things they are, and the plight of the Chechen people is framed as an embarrassment for a Hollywood actress.




Oscar in 2000 for "Boys Don't Cry" and 2005 for "Million Dollar Baby"

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